The Art of Being a Lady: That Woman

If you read last Monday’s post, The Art of Being a Lady: The Antithesis of Today’s Pop Culture Female Icon, then you know that I’ve started a weekly column with the intention of inspiring women, myself included, to refine our lives and to become the elegant, sophisticated ladies we all dream of becoming. In our contemporary, equality-driven, liberal society this topic is often met with little enthusiasm – to say the least. Something about the idea that being a lady represents ruffles the feathers of many women {Oh, I’m sorry. Is that misogynistic of me to say?}. Perhaps the initial offense is at the general notion, or what some may call outdated thinking, that women should be more ladylike. Let’s face it. No one likes to be told what they should or should not be. In fact, I can almost hear some of you saying, “I am who I am, and whoever doesn’t like it can just deal with it!”

But let me ask you this. Do you like who you are?

Are you truly satisfied with yourself?

Don’t you sometimes wish you were a tad bit more polished in social situations? Slightly more refined in your manners? A little more elegant in your behavior? A lot more sophisticated in your dress? {Speaking for myself, here.}

Can you honestly say that you’ve never gazed in admiration {and a hint of jealousy} at a woman who exudes effortless charm and relaxed elegance – one who, upon entering a room, commands attention not because she demands it but because of her gracious charisma? Tell me you’ve never dreamed of being “that woman.”

While an immaculately tailored dress, perfect coif and a full face of makeup all day, every day may add up to a beautiful package, these characteristics are all superficial and do not define a lady. So what does define a lady? Grace, strength, a kind heart, a gentle spirit, compassion, dignity, confidence, determination, wisdom, respect, a strong moral compass and the ability to speak your mind are only the beginning. Never settling for mediocrity, a lady is in constant pursuit of improvement, yet she is secure and at peace. She has the wisdom to discern when to employ blatant honesty and when to close her mouth. A lady is someone who finds strength in being a woman and can compose herself in any company or situation without losing her integrity or compromising her values. A lady never makes others feel inferior but on the contrary is intuitive to others’ needs and finds pleasure in lifting, inspiring and catering to others. A lady will never feel the need to impress others or to reciprocate to bad manners. But most importantly, a lady is a lady not because of how she acts but because of who she is.

Being a lady is not in any way a constrained, repressed or stifling concept. On the contrary, it’s about aligning your sense of self to principles of the highest degree and, as a result, making your world, and the world of all who come in contact with you, a more beautiful place. To be called a lady is perhaps the greatest compliment you can ever receive, and I will go as far as to say that every female should aspire to be one.

Before you interject with the “But wait a minute,” I’d like to once and for all dismiss common misconceptions of what it means to be a lady.

  1. A lady is not a demure and decorative work of art.
  2. A lady is not a cold and calculated schemer.
  3. A lady is not an entitled or privileged it-girl who bathes in glitter and spends her days shopping.
  4. A lady is not a miserable wretch whose only focus in life is what others think of her.
  5. A lady is not a politically correct robot who is afraid to speak her mind.


Dress, Dillards (similar) // Flower crown, DIY (similar) // Rings, ASOS // Lipstick, Revlon

Now I’d like to know your opinion. What is your interpretation of being a lady? Would you consider yourself one? Do you wrestle with, rebel against or aspire to the idea of being a lady?


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  1. Pingback: FOXY OXIE SUPERNOVA | How to Speak with Confidence

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